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This is something I had written after visiting the Red Cross Orphanage a week+ ago.  It was very emotional for me so it took me some time to finish it.  I'm not trying to be dramatic or make the orphanage out to be some horrendous place.  These descriptions are exactly what I witnessed the 3 days we visited.  I realize that life here in Vietnam can not be compared to the blessed life we live in Canada but this is the reality of it all and this is why my heart is so broken even as I am so overjoyed at having our beautiful baby boy with us...

It’s 4am...I am wide awake as thoughts of the orphanage setting rush through my mind. Images that will be with me the rest of my comfortable life. Images of babies waiting for their forever families, covered in scabies, dents in their little legs and arms from previous bouts of scabies, their bums wrapped in towels held together with a piece of material. These children are cooed at, touched, fed and changed. These are the “normal” children. In another room the “unlovable” are caged 24 hours a day. There are children whose bodies look contorted; there are children whose legs and arms are the size of a stick but whose tummies are inflated like a balloon. They are treated like animals...they are fed at meal time, and their bums are changed when they are wet but there is no physical contact, no words spoken (unless being yelled at in disgust because they aren’t swallowing their food fast enough), there is no love for these children. These children are fed so much because as long as their tummies are full they will stay quiet in their crib cage. The cages are metal bars with metal slats on the bottom with no mats. The “normal” babies get mats on the bottom of theirs. When it’s feeding time the children flip over onto their backs while the food is spilled into their mouths by the spoonful with no words spoken by the caregiver. In the 8 hours that we spent at the orphanage these children were not held, spoken to or taken out of their cages...Can you even imagine what that is like? To these children, this is normal, this is life.

Yesterday as we walked up to the orphanage, there was an American man swinging one of the babies. His name is Lou...Lou is a man I have the utmost love and respect for and I didn’t even speak many words to him. Let me tell you a little bit about Lou and I dare you not to fall in love with him! He is a Vietnam War Vet. He helped build up an orphanage during his time in Vietnam. He even adopted a boy from Vietnam who still lives here. He also has other grown up children whom live in New York and West Virginia. He also has 6 grandchildren and he drives between New York and West Virginia every 2 weeks to spend time with everyone. His heart was always with the orphanage that he helped build and then 6 years ago his daughter bought him his plane ticket to Vietnam and told him to stop talking about it and go visit the orphanage he longed to see. That orphanage has since been closed but then he found the Red Cross orphanage. For the past 6 years he comes to Vietnam for 3 months and volunteers at the orphanage every day. He said that these 3 months are his resting time...spending time with each child...yes even the “unlovable”! He takes each child out of their cage and holds them, rocks them, tells each one that he loves them and he calls himself “papa” to each one. I watched him change one diaper and he did it with such compassion and love it was absolutely beautiful. I said that in the 8 hours we were at the orphanage I didn’t see any love given to the “unlovable”...I lied. Dear Lou held them outside and just loved them. He would speak so gently to them. I came outside and he was swinging with a little boy and the little boy just lit up. Even though he didn’t understand a word Lou was saying, he smiled and laughed every time Lou spoke. Love speaks louder than words. This little boy’s legs were so small and bent. He never learned to walk, he’s never been able to stretch and strengthen his legs. Why? Because he is different? He is not worthy to strive? All that comes to my mind is that God thinks he’s worthy!

Papa had to go home but he promised he’d be back tomorrow, and I am confident he will be.

Before Lou left he went around and said his goodbyes to the 3 babies who now have a forever family. He came to Fredrick and kissed him goodbye and whispered to Fredrick that he was a lucky little boy who would now have a bath every day, cream rubbed on his body, baby powder on his bum, and people to love him...not like what goes on in the orphanage. My heart broke. Yes Fredrick is blessed and I’m so blessed to be bringing him home, but what about the other children? Who is going to love them?

Is there a reason the Lord called us to Vietnam? I don’t know. But I do know my heart is broken for these children. These are not just words I am writing. This is from my soul...my heart IS broken. I will never forget those children. I know they will just die. This is the reality. During my emotional breakdown, one of the adoptive grandfathers who was a part of our group reminded me that I didn’t have to look too far for cruelty like this...that it is everywhere in Montreal. Of course this is true, but we do have social programs set up in Canada. We do have certain codes/standards that need to be upheld. I am not naive, I know that terrible things continue even with such codes/standards, but at least they are in place. These children have no one protecting them...no one giving them the chance to live.

Lord, bless these children of the Red Cross orphanage. Lord, protect them because You are the great Protector. Lord no one here on earth cares about them, but You do Lord. You created them in Your image. Lord, if it is Your will, heal them from all mental and physical disabilities. Lord, may these “unlovable” children feel Your awesome love and know that they are indeed lovable. Amen.